Respek Mah A-thor-i-tah!

It has become apparent that I must address a very important topic. I feel it is my duty to correct some possibly well-meaning but certainly misguided and misinformed people. I burn with shame for them when they expose their ignorance, and must try to help them to Stop the Madness.

Read on. If the following applies to you, for god's sake don't expose yourself to public ridicule and possible ostracization by disagreeing. It will only expose your shame, ignorance, and recalcitrance.*

It is not necessary, and is, in fact, totally uncool to say, "He peed in his pants." The correct, contemporary, and "hip" usage is, "He peed his pants." This usage applies to several other verbs in constant use, such as "crap".

As the English language evolves, certain outmoded, arbitrary, and unnecessary "rules" are discarded by common consensus through common usage.** This handy, self-regulating method of lingual evolution keeps the English language vital. The old, outmoded, and no longer relevant rules are expunged and are replaced by usages we, The English Speaking People, feel like making up. It also serves to make us feel superior, because learning English, which is already inexplicable, becomes even more difficult.

Get used to it! And try to keep up.

*Jeezuz, that's good. I'm going to start using this for all of my arguments.

**"South Park" influences this decade's lingual evolution heavily. Many changes are wrought by mass repetition of Cartman's dialog from the newest episode.