My Summer Vacation by Vance

Dear Fan-base,

I am sorry to have let you down. I know that some of you in my Vast Readership have nothing else in your lives but this blog.

And no posts since April.

Here's what happened:

I took the summer off. This is the first since 1979. This is the second of my career. I know that many of you will be astonished by this. You'll say something very like (if not in these exact words),

"What possible alternate reason(s) is(are) there for being in the education bidniss, other than the summer vacation?"

Such ignorance in my peeps. Let me list them:

1. The money.
2. The respect and prestige.
3. The privilege of working with dese here yout's.
4. The worshipful appreciation of the community.

And that's just a handful.

So here's my reason for not blogging. After a near 30 year hiatus from the summer vacation, I fell into it hard.

It's funny tho'....... When it began, I had this euphoric feeling. I remember, very early on, sort of sighting down an unending line of unscheduled, dreamy summer days. The sheer number of them was incomprehensible, when measured in days. There were weeks! Months!

Yeah. Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the gym, swilling bad coffee from a styrofoam cup and wondering what would happen if I ate one of the donuts. Welcome back, Kotter!

Sorry, I'll stop. I'm sure this is distressing to the more sensitive members of the VR. My pain is your pain, and you have quite enough as it is.

Let's get on with what you really want to know*.

"What did you do, Vance? How did you fill those blissful days?"

Well, thanks for asking. But, let's back up a speck. Let's make this interesting. Let's compare my goals to what I actually accomplished.

This is what we educators do.

Vance's ISP (individualized summer plan)

Goal #1
Vance will finish the cabin and prepare it for Fall rental.

Objectives:
1a. Vance will spend at least 2 days a week (averaged over the summer) at the cabin, working.
1b. Vance will not be a dull boy and will do at least one recreational activity during each stay at the cabin in order to remain fresh and facilitate on-task behavior while working.

Goal #2

Vance will clear brush and flammable materials from the cabin lot at least to fire department guidelines.


Objectives:
2a. Vance will arrange a work party consisting of 2-3 volunteers to cut and clear brush and debris on at least one weekend.
2b. Vance will rent a chipper, and clear piles of cut brush.
2c. Vance will find out what the fire department's guidelines are.


Goal #3
Vance will re-establish an acceptable level of fitness, demonstrated by attaining a sub-200lb weight and the ability to ride King's Mountain Road to the top without injury, heart failure, stroke, or becoming unable to function for the rest of the day.

Objectives:
3a. Vance will ride at least 1 hour on 5/7 days.
3b. Vance will ride at least 2/3 of the way up KM Rd. 2x per week.
3c. Vance will ride at least two hours on 3/7 days (may include KM days)

Goal #4
Vance will not go to NY this summer.

Objectives:
4a. Vance will duck, dodge, and utilize all avoidance strategies in his repertiore to not go.


How did I do?

Vance's ISP Summary Meeting Results:

Goal #1
Not accomplished.
Objectives:
1a. accomplished.
1b. not accomplished. 5%

Goal #2 Not accomplished.
Objectives:
2a. n.a.0%
2b. n.a. 0%
2c. n.a. 0%

Goal #3 Not accomplished.
Objectives:
3a. n.a. 50%
3b. n.a 5%
3c. n.a. 25%

Goal #4 Accomplished
Objectives:
4a. accomplished 100%

These results would get me fired if I was one of my students.

At least I've posted to my blog! Stop your demanding and complaining.

*I still haven't seen "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang".